♥ Saturday, December 8, 2007
@2:35 AM
suddenly got this urged to go back to church,maybe is all the sins i've done making me guilty concious.Went back to CHC, stephen warmly welcome me back, very much ashamed of myself.I need to apologise to many many people,i felt so ashamed to face u people once again,felt so much shame to bring myself back infront of God. I've really tear my face down,my hidden mixed feelings in me is torturing me everyday.The devil that dwell real deep in me is making me losing my soul.God can u hear me,i really need you, whatever backslyers i am, forgive me please.Maybe is too late to understand all the true you people trying to tell me,its too late to mend back every single lil mistake i made.So late to even chase after back what i've lost.My greatest mistake is to hurt my greatest gift from God,Israel for what i've done to you is a mistake is a great lost to me,Now the changes i made in you is hurting me bleedly.All the nevers u wont did to me, i did it to you.The love you gave me had somehow stop ever since i make ways to hurt you,what more can i say. other then sorry.Now your leaving had aready made me lose my mind,what im i gonna do without you my rest of my life. I will never stand up again,i will never move on to find another better,because i hate myself for what i have today.I've lost in this game which i first started,i've lost the one whom is aready a part of my life,i've aready lost everything including God.The most pain i had is to received ignored from your loves one.when the day you know they wont be there for u anymore, is the day u thought of suicide.God i promise you i will change for the better, give me one last chance.Israel let me do something for u again,i promise. If you dont give me a chance,i will never be on my feet again.This time im really breaking down at the edged. If you people dont give me a chance,i will stop and run away from mistakes, to hid every ugly sins i made the way is to end everything with a . God hear my prayer will you.stay with me
